


He Loves You

by little_escapist



Series: Carpool au [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 11:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13880085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_escapist/pseuds/little_escapist
Summary: Carpool au sequel:Kurt is in love with Blaine. He has been a while already. And now, they’re finally on the same page after Kurt gathered his courage and opened up. It’s just not as easy as you think it might be, telling someone you’re in love with them, when you’re used to being ignored or thrown aside.





	He Loves You

**Author's Note:**

> So, here it is, the sequel to tie up at least some of the loose ends from In a Car with a Beautifu Boy. This is short, but somehow it felt more fitting than another multi-chapter. I should probably sit on this a few days, since I just finished writing, but whatever, I'm posting right away (I usually swear by proof-reading at least twice...).

Kurt’s sitting in Blaine’s car in the hospital parking lot. Blaine had been adamant – today he would walk all the way, just himself and his crutches. He had told Kurt to wait in the car. No matter how difficult it might get, no matter how slowly Blaine might do it, he doesn’t want help. Kurt had nodded and stayed behind, just sitting in the car while Blaine was in physical therapy. Kurt knows Blaine will be tired as hell once he gets back to the car. The therapy sessions take a lot of energy, and Blaine wants to travel to the car on his own, over the slightly icy parking lot. But Kurt will let Blaine do it. Blaine needs to do it. He needs to have the boost it’ll give him to heal for good, not only physically but also mentally.

 

It’s February. The casts came off two weeks ago, and Blaine’s been doing well in his physical therapy. It’s nearly two months since the accident, two glorious months of Kurt spending more time at Blaine’s than at home, kissing him, holding him, doing things for him. Blaine complains that he feels stupid, letting Kurt clean his house and cook his meals, but Kurt feels good. He feels needed, he feels valid, and he wants to do this. He wants to help Blaine. Besides, Kurt knows Blaine prefers him to his mother hovering there constantly.

 

Kurt loves Blaine. He’s been in love with Blaine for a long time now, much longer than the two months they’ve been kissing each other and getting off together. It feels impossible that they’ve only known each other since September. Blaine is such an integral part of Kurt’s life now that Kurt hardly remembers what it was like before. Blaine is there, certain and open, his heart in his eyes. Kurt’s not sure what made Blaine look at him like that when they first met, but the eyes and emotion in them made Kurt fall fast and hard. Opening up to Blaine took planning and avoiding and decisions about topics beforehand, Kurt had made _a list_ , for fuck’s sake. But he got there, finally, after several missteps and a misunderstanding that almost cost him it all.

 

They are in Columbus, Ohio, and Kurt doesn’t really long for New York right now. He’s happy, he’s content, and once Blaine gets properly on his feet again he’ll be ecstatic. It was so close, Kurt was already looking up apartments online, he was about to buy plane tickets. But then he’d seen Adam and realized that he had to try with Blaine. He had to put his heart on the line, tell Blaine everything, including his feelings. That was the hardest part, but it came surprisingly easy after being scared that he might have never had the chance to say those words.

 

And there are still words he hasn’t said.

 

Kurt hasn’t told Blaine he loves him.

 

Well, Blaine hasn’t told Kurt, either, but Kurt knows it. He can see it in the fond look Blaine has, or in the heat in his dark eyes. Kurt knows it because Blaine sends him silly texts, and compliments him, and touches him constantly when they’re together.

 

And there he is, the man Kurt loves, fumbling his way across the parking lot. Kurt smiles as he takes in Blaine’s careful movements and gets out of the car to greet his boyfriend.

 

“No! I told you, I want to do this by myself!” Blaine hollers when he sees Kurt.

 

Kurt laughs and lifts his hands up in surrender. “I know, I know. I’ll just wait here for you.” He leans against the car and watches, his chest aching, as Blaine slowly but surely hobbles closer. Blaine is so strong, much stronger than he realizes. Luckily for him, Kurt is there to remind him of the fact.

 

“I’m so proud of you,” Kurt tells Blaine when Blaine reaches the car. There’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead, and his face is red both from the cool air and the effort it took to get to the car. He’s the most beautiful human being Kurt’s ever seen. Sometimes Kurt feels dumb with love – even his thoughts get sappy and stupid. He just can’t get the words out no matter how much he wants to.

 

“I’m a grown man, this should not be something to be proud of,” Blaine complains.

 

“Shut up,” Kurt says without heat, circles the car to kiss Blaine on the mouth just because he can, and then opens the door for him.

 

“I’m so slow, Kurt. I won’t be running any time soon. I feel awful and out of shape and lazy.” Blaine sits down and gives his crutches over to Kurt.

 

“Stop complaining. You know you’ve made great progress, so allow yourself some happiness,” Kurt says and puts the crutches on the back seat before returning to the driver’s side. This car is new, the old one got too damaged in the crash to repair easily. Still Kurt’s familiar and comfortable with the vehicle – he’s spent a lot of time in it. He’s been almost like Blaine’s private driver during the last two months. Soon Blaine will get to drive himself again, and the shotgun seat will be Kurt’s. But for now, Kurt’s the one driving.

 

“Now, mister, I’m taking you home and, once we get there, giving you a foot rub.”

 

*

 

Santana’s debut album comes out in April. Blaine invites Kurt as his plus one to the party, and Kurt is more nervous than he’s been since he told Blaine he felt more than friendship. He’s been planning his perfect outfit for a week, and still tomorrow’s party is coming too soon for him. Kurt doesn’t feel ready. He wasn’t ever planning on facing his past, but meeting Blaine forced him to. Somehow Blaine is connected to everything, and he’s more than worth the anxiety Kurt feels now that he’ll have to meet his past head on. Kurt is scared, but he will do it. For Blaine, he’d do much worse things than talking to people who used to be his friends. It doesn’t mean he’s not afraid, though.

 

They’re sitting on Blaine’s couch and watching reruns of Project Runway when Blaine confronts Kurt about it.

 

“Kurt, is everything alright? You keep fidgeting.” He puts a warm, steady hand where Kurt keeps rubbing his fingers together. It’s a nervous habit. He used to cross and uncross his fingers before performing in high school, and sometimes even during the performances. He finds calm better when he can play with his fingers and knuckles – or sometimes, with Blaine’s.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“I know you better than that. Talk to me.” Blaine turns towards Kurt, dark eyes intent and worried.

 

There was a time when Blaine never asked, never pushed even when Kurt gave him hints. Blaine made Kurt do all the work, made him decide when it was time to share. Kurt appreciated the breathing room, but at the same time, he sometimes wanted Blaine to ask. He wanted Blaine to want him and say it, too. Now it’s no longer an issue. Blaine knows he’s allowed to ask and wonder and push. And Kurt doesn’t feel the need to hide or avoid things. They trust each other, they know each other well enough by now that there aren’t any forbidden topics.

 

Though there are some that they haven’t come across in a while.

 

Like Kurt and his high school glee club. Blaine knows Kurt hasn’t talked to them in years, since Blaine is friends with some of Kurt’s old friends. It was something Kurt meant to talk about, but he forgot, too engrossed in Blaine and their new relationship and trying to tell Blaine he loves him. Kurt knows Blaine has told Sam that they’re together, but Sam’s busy with work in LA and Kurt hasn’t needed to meet him yet.

 

Tomorrow, though, he will have to face Santana Lopez. Santana is probably the scariest of them all, and Kurt is not looking forward to the verbal smack down he knows he will receive.

 

“It’s Santana. I’m dreading meeting her.”

 

Blaine sighs and shuffles closer, settles against Kurt. “She knows you’re coming, and she said she can’t wait to see you. She’s not mad.”

 

“You don’t know her like I do,” Kurt says quietly, drawing patterns into Blaine’s hand with his fingertips.

 

“And you don’t know her like I do. Kurt, people change. She’s not the same she was in high school, just like you’re not the person you were then. It’s going to be okay.”

 

“She has a vicious way with words. That hasn’t changed! I asked you to dinner after you complained about her.”

 

“That dinner was amazing, by the way. The only thing that would have made it better? Kissing you. I was going to, but you moved away.” Blaine chuckles a little, and Kurt feels warm with affection. The words are on the tip of his tongue, but now is not the time. He needs to talk about Santana, about why he’s scared.

 

Kurt places a kiss into Blaine’s temple. “I regret that. But I was so scared of reading things wrong, I was so scared of you. Because I haven’t had it easy.”

 

“Adam did not treat you right, and you know it,” Blaine says firmly. “He should have broken it off before he felt the need to hop into someone else’s bed.”

 

“It’s not only about that.”

 

Blaine perks up a little, turns to look at Kurt. There’s a question in his eyes.

 

“It’s the glee club. It’s an issue about trust. You see, we were like a family, in all the good but also in the bad. We couldn’t really decide who we had to share the choir room with. I sat there next to my bullies. I’m not saying that they didn’t turn into friends as we got to know each other, but…” Kurt sighs. He hates talking about this. “We were all in each others’ business. Everybody meddled in things they shouldn’t have. Did I tell you that I almost got suspended because of the senior class president poll? Rachel decided to help me to win and stuffed my name in way too many times. They thought I was the one who rigged it.”

 

“She did what?” Blaine asks. His brows scrunch together, and he’s too adorable for words.

 

“It’s a long story, but just one example of how things were. There’s a lot more there. And it didn’t really change after we went our separate ways. Me and Rachel, we went to New York and she kept being herself. Santana came with us after a while, and… it seemed like they didn’t approve of my choices, and they thought they had every right to say it out loud. They thought they had every right to tell me how to live my life. I’m not innocent either, I can admit that sometimes I was a bit too vocal about things that weren’t really for me to talk about.” Kurt licks his lips and takes a breath.

 

Here is where it gets hard. He pulls Blaine impossibly closer, seeking comfort in holding his boyfriend. Blaine tucks himself against Kurt’s chest and side, as close as they can be. It helps that Blaine’s facing the other way, his back to Kurt’s chest. He’s close, but his eyes are away from Kurt. This time he’s not asking, he’s giving Kurt the space Kurt needs to put his thoughts in order. Blaine has learned to read Kurt so well, he takes Kurt’s hints. By now he knows when to push and when to wait for Kurt to come to him.

 

“We fought a lot in the couple of months before Finn passed. Rachel was seeing this idiot, and Santana and I, we… we were trying to make her see that he wasn’t good company. I was with Adam, but Rachel and Santana were convinced that he wasn’t treating me well. Santana dated a girl named Dani, and Rachel kept reminding her that Brittany was better. It was a mess, we had no boundaries whatsoever. Rachel kept asking me about applying to NYADA again, and I felt defeated. Santana booked herself some commercial and I had nothing. Life… wasn’t great.” Kurt sighs. “And then Finn died. I collapsed. So did Rachel – I’m pretty sure she never stopped loving him. But she turned her grief into power. She worked hard. And I… I just ran home with my tail between my legs and stayed with dad and Carole. I stopped calling or emailing my friends. I didn’t want to see anyone. I didn’t want anyone to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. I cut them off. All of them, even the ones still in Lima who came knocking on the door. And they let me pull away, all but Rachel. She kept calling and texting and emailing. But she never could convince me that returning to New York would be worth it.”

 

“You gave up,” Blaine says quietly.

 

“Yeah,” Kurt breathes. Blaine is not wrong. He did give up on his dreams, his friends, his whole life. He hates himself for it, even though things are better now. “It was easier to not see anyone. Easier to just exist and not think about everything and everyone I lost.”

 

“But the people would have been there, Kurt. Sam’s not mad, he asks about you and keeps telling me he’s sorry you lost contact. Mike and Tina remember you fondly. Santana has been bugging me about you ever since she found out who I’m dating. You could have called them, any of them, later on.” Blaine’s voice is sad. He’s not judging, but Kurt still feels hurt.

 

“You don’t get it. I was so ashamed. All through high school I lived for New York. I lived for the day I could leave Lima and Ohio behind and never look back. My friends knew that. To return to Lima, defeated and without direction, was humiliating. And I said some really awful things to Santana and Rachel, at least – I can’t even remember but I’m sure I hurt many of them when we got together to remember Finn.”

 

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Blaine says and turns around to look Kurt in the eye. His amber eyes are full of affection, pain and reassurance, so easy to read, right there on the surface. So very unlike Kurt, who learned very early on that holding himself in check was the better way to go. He can be expressive when it’s about anger or disdain, but he doesn’t know how to show love. Not like Blaine.

 

“Kurt, people make mistakes. Sometimes it hurts. But we all are the same – and we can understand each other in that. No one is perfect,” Blaine says. “People are able to forgive.”

 

Kurt lets out a shaky breath. “I’m not so sure about Santana.”

 

“Did you not hear me?” Blaine asks with a small, teasing smile. “She wants to talk to you, she even said she misses you. It will be okay. And I will be right there next to you.”

 

“Thank you,” Kurt says. He leans towards Blaine, and Blaine covers the rest of the way, pressing his lips against Kurt’s. Kurt will never tire of the way Blaine kisses him, soft or hard, deep or chaste, always full of passion. Blaine always has a hand on Kurt’s face or his neck, holding him there, making sure that Kurt won’t pull away too soon, as if that’s even a possibility.

 

*

 

“Wow, I never thought I’d see the day. Porcelain, in the flesh.”

 

Kurt cringes and doesn’t answer. Blaine is somewhere, talking to someone, and he’s alone by the bar. Of course _this_ would be the moment Santana approached him.

 

The party is in full swing. Santana played some of her songs, people loved her, and now everyone is mingling and talking and drinking. The event is in a small concert venue, and Kurt is impressed with the turnout of people. Santana did it. She’s actually a singer now. She looks amazing, as usual, in a blood red dress that hugs her every curve and sky-high heels. Her hair is slightly shorter than Kurt remembers, and her face has lost the last roundness of youth.

 

“It’s nice to see you, Satan,” Kurt says finally.

 

“I have to say I agree, despite everything you’ve done.” Santana gives him a judgmental once-over and Kurt stands up straighter. He’s noticeably taller than her now, though once there was a time when they were eye to eye. Kurt takes this small advantage to heart. Santana may have her way of shredding him apart, but at least he can tower over her while she does it.

 

“I’m sorry.” Kurt can be the mature one and say the word.

 

“Oh pfft. I’m not here for an apology. Why the hell did you just disappear? We’ve been worried. Some of us thought you were in New York, and all of us _hoped_ you were after we found out you left Lima. But no, you’re here, in Ohio. Columbus is not much better than Lima, doll-face. You shouldn’t be here!”

 

“And what are _you_ doing here, then? Aren’t you meant for something bigger and better?” Kurt asks, his tone icy cold. Santana punched right where it hurts most.

 

“Hey, now, I’m the one with an album out! But if you have to know, Britt works in a dance studio here. I need to be with my girl, and it isn’t too bad here, for us. I can’t believe you’re trying to tell me you’re happy.”

 

So, she’s back with Brittany. That makes Kurt feel warm. He’s happy they made it – they seemed to complement each other perfectly. He knows Santana missed Brittany when they were in New York, no matter how much she dated others. Kurt feels very out of the loop, and knows it’s all his fault. But maybe he can get back – maybe his high school friends won’t flay him alive if he shows up to a reunion.

 

“Actually, I’m very happy right now. Happier than I’ve been in years,” Kurt says. His eyes stray towards Blaine, who seems to be deep in conversation with a tall woman in the middle of the room.

 

Santana follows his gaze and huffs out a laugh. “The hobbit? Well, he does have certain assets, but you can’t just throw away everything to settle for him and Columbus. I have faith in you, Kurt, believe it or not. You’re meant for bigger things than this. I’m fine with my lot, I’m actually really happy. I am where I’m supposed to be now that I got the recording deal. But you? You don’t belong here. You belong on a stage belting out Streisand.”

 

Even though Santana’s tone is harsh and cutting, Kurt understands the sentiment in the words. This is the softest he’s ever seen Santana. He appreciates it more than he can ever articulate. Even after the falling out, even after all their disagreements, Santana still believes in him. “I’ve missed you.”

 

“I have to say life is more boring without your pale face in it,” Santana says.

 

“But there’s one thing where you’re wrong. I’m not settling for Blaine. He’s the thing that I’ve been missing my whole life. He gives me faith, he holds me up when I’m unsure. And I know he needs me – I love that he lets me in, lets me see him and help him in turn.”

 

“You’re so smitten, oh my god.” Santana rolls her eyes.

 

“Yeah, maybe I am. But because of him, I dream again. Before the year is over, I want to be in New York, with Blaine.” Kurt looks over at Blaine, who’s laughing at something the woman told him. He looks so radiant like that, smile a mile wide. “I just hope he’ll agree to come with me.”

 

“Oh, you better believe it, that guy would follow you to Antarctica…” Santana is interrupted when someone comes over to congratulate her.

 

Kurt lets her go to receive the praise she deserves. He feels better after meeting her, which he wouldn’t have thought possible just few hours ago. It seems that Santana has matured, grown, and even though she’s the same, she’s different, too. Kurt really wants to stay in touch with her. He wants to see Brittany and tell them he’s happy for them. He also hopes that Santana’s last sentence turns out correct.

 

He hasn’t talked about it with Blaine yet, dreading the answer too much. Last November, Blaine woke up the long dormant dream in Kurt. Blaine made Kurt believe that he could go back to New York. Blaine assured Kurt that it’s not too late to go after what he wants.

 

Kurt had been so dizzy with the realization that going to New York was actually a possibility that he’d rushed with a decision to go right away. Of course, Adam suddenly returning helped things along. Adam had been more than willing to talk Kurt into going, and soon. The spark that Blaine had re-ignited had grown huge and gotten a bit out of hand. In his unexpected enthusiasm Kurt turned blind to everything else. That almost cost him Blaine and this happiness here. Kurt has to admit that seeing Adam again and feeling nothing for him on Thanksgiving was a blessing. It opened his eyes in another way, and turned the dream into something that Kurt could go after, but without rushing too much. Because Kurt needed to see about Blaine first.

 

He has no regrets. He didn’t leave for New York in January, but sometimes it’s better to take a step back and reconsider. That was the best thing Kurt could have ever done. He has Blaine now, and his life is almost perfect. The only thing he needs anymore is to move back to New York, to a shoebox-sized apartment with Blaine, and go to as many auditions as possible.

 

Now he just has to sell the idea to Blaine.

 

*

 

It’s early June, and the day is warm but not too hot. Sun is high on the blue, blue sky, and every place is full of life. Children are running around the park, their parents keeping an eye on them. Someone jogs by, and there’s also a group of teenagers making noise by the pond. Kurt and Blaine are sitting on a picnic blanket, a basket between them, remains of a light meal packed away. It’s a perfect summer Saturday. Kurt has on about three layers of sunscreen, but Blaine is turning wonderfully brown in the sun. It’s nice, but Kurt dreams of Central Park.

 

“What do you dream about?” Kurt asks Blaine, eyes keen on a little girl running around in circles with a stuffed cat in her hands.

 

“You?” Blaine turns a little towards Kurt.

 

“Ha ha, you think you’re so smooth,” Kurt deadpans, but smiles anyway. He loves Blaine and his little romantic words that appear out of nowhere every now and then.

 

“Where did that question even come from?” Blaine asks.

 

“Well, you know what I want from life, what my biggest dreams are. We’ve never talked about yours, though. You must have some, I mean, you’re the sole reason why I dare to dream again.” Kurt looks Blaine in the eye. He knows he’s being more serious than a day like this allows for, but he has to get this out. He’s been thinking about New York more and more, and he needs Blaine by his side. If Blaine wants to stay in Columbus for the rest of his life, well. That might create some unpleasant tension between them.

 

“Do we have to talk about it?” Blaine deflects, lying down on his back. He closes his eyes against the sun and Kurt aches with how beautiful his boyfriend is, small and defined while he rests. His dark eyelashes create long shadows against his cheeks.

 

Kurt moves their basket to the side to get right next to his boyfriend. He settles on his side, facing Blaine, and leans his head on his hand. He doesn’t care that this is Ohio, he doesn’t care that any moment one of those parents might come over to tell them they’re bad influence for their kids. He has to be close to Blaine, right now, everything else be damned. Because Blaine is holding something back, and Kurt will get down to the bottom of it. He tickles Blaine’s nose with his finger to lighten the mood.

 

“What are you doing?” Blaine asks, squints against the sun to look at Kurt.

 

“I’m distracting you so that you’ll spill me all your secrets.” Kurt arranges a sweet smile on his face, exaggerating it until he gets a huff of laughter from Blaine. “See? I’m able to amuse you.”

 

“Of course you are,” Blaine goes for sarcastic and misses his mark by a mile. He closes his eyes again.

 

Kurt laughs, and boops Blaine on the nose. “Tell me. If you could have anything, what would it be? And you have me already, so that does not qualify as an answer.”

 

Blaine bites his lip. Kurt touches a gentle fingertip to his eyelashes before booping him on the nose again. Blaine moves faster than Kurt expected, taking the intruding finger between his teeth. It doesn’t hurt, he doesn’t bite down, but Kurt lets out an alarmed noise anyway. “Oi! Stop that!”

 

“You stop,” Blaine says, letting go of Kurt’s finger.

 

“Not until you tell me.” This time Kurt follows the shape of Blaine’s left eyebrow.

 

“That tickles! And I want to make music,” Blaine mumbles then.

 

Kurt stops touching him then, puzzled by the admission. “But… isn’t that what you do?” Blaine’s a producer. He works with music every single day. He makes albums happen.

 

Blaine shakes his head. “My own music.”

 

“You want to make an album of your own songs? Sing on your own album?” Kurt figures out. He knows that Blaine has composed songs, but he’s never showed them to Kurt. He keeps his music notes in a box in his office, and that box is tightly shut. Kurt has been curious, but he has respected Blaine’s privacy.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well, that wasn’t so terrible to say, was it?” Kurt says, putting his hand on Blaine’s belly, pressing down a little, feeling the warmth of Blaine’s body through the light fabric of his shirt.

 

“Well, it’s a stupid dream to have. I’m not good enough.” Kurt hears the bitterness that Blaine tries to keep away.

 

“What the hell are you talking about? You’re amazing. Your voice is spectacular, and I’ve heard you play both your guitar and the piano. Of course you are good enough!” Kurt will not have Blaine putting himself down like that. He knows that Blaine has some problems with his self-esteem, and every time they surface, he feels helpless. He needs Blaine to see himself like Kurt sees him – this talented, kind, beautiful person that makes Kurt feel all dizzy and fluttery inside.

 

“I tried, once,” Blaine says. “I took my demo over to McKinley, and it was turned down.” His eyes are still closed, his jaw tight, and his voice is tiny. Like he’s embarrassed.

 

“What? That’s bullshit, I know it is. Why didn’t you try somewhere else?” Now Kurt is angry, so angry on Blaine’s behalf.

 

“I can’t go and start a career at another recording studio, Kurt. Besides, you’ve never heard my original stuff.”

 

“I believe in you, Blaine.” Then it hits Kurt, suddenly like a lighting form a clear blue sky. Blaine was the one that lifted Kurt’s dream out of the ashes. It was a glorious thing to feel, to have someone believe without a single doubt, have someone tell that the dream is possible and valid. Blaine did all that, and at the same time doesn’t believe in his own dream. “You’re kind of a hypocrite, you know.”

 

“What?” Blaine sits up so suddenly that Kurt falls from his perch. Blaine stares at Kurt, clearly hurt.

 

“You told me that no dream should be given up,” Kurt clarifies. “I know you remember that conversation, in your car, last winter. You basically told me that dreaming about New York is something I am allowed to do, something I should do. That I should not let some mishaps come in my way and let go of my dream because of them. That it’s always worth it to dream.”

 

“Because that’s true!”

 

Kurt gives Blaine a long look, waiting for him to catch up. When it’s clear he doesn’t, Kurt shakes his head fondly. “Oh, honey, do you listen to yourself at all? If my dream is worth going after, then so is yours.”

 

Blaine looks away, deflated, tired. “I tried. I didn’t succeed. That’s it.”

 

Kurt sits up and pulls Blaine close. “Honey, please, have you forgotten everything I ever told you about New York? I didn’t get into the school I wanted to go to. I didn’t get any of the roles I auditioned for. I didn’t even get a proper job – I barely had enough money to pay my part of the rent. Still you tell me that it’s worth it to try again. So why is your dream not worth it? Blaine… You are worth it. You can try again. Maybe other people will see what they didn’t see at McKinley’s Music.”

 

“It was Sebastian,” Blaine whispers into Kurt’s neck. “Sebastian told me that it wasn’t good enough to make it out there.”

 

“Have I told you that I hate Sebastian with a burning passion?” Kurt murmurs, his lips and nose in Blaine’s raspberry scented hair. “The guy is an idiot. You shouldn’t take anything he says seriously. And why him, anyway? There are others there, others who aren’t leering at you every chance they get.”

 

Blaine shrugs in Kurt’s arms. “I guess I was too intimidated by the others.”

 

“Oh, darling,” Kurt sighs. “Let’s go to your house. I’m not done with this topic yet, but I think we should go somewhere more private,” Kurt says and gets up, offering a hand to Blaine. He has a plan now.

 

The walk to Blaine’s is quiet. They don’t hold hands, but they walk close to each other, shoulders bumping together. Kurt carries the basket, and Blaine has the blanket over his left arm. Kurt wants to make things better for Blaine the way Blaine opened his eyes about eight months ago. Blaine has to learn to see that his dreams are just as good as Kurt’s. Just as good as anyone’s. Kurt glances over. Blaine holds his head high, but his eyes are tired.

 

Blaine opens the door when they reach the house, and they go in. Kurt empties the basket in the kitchen as Blaine goes to put the blanket away. When he returns to Kurt, Kurt offers him a glass of wine.

 

“What’s this for?” Blaine asks, accepting the glass.

 

“Why not?” Kurt asks and takes a sip of his own glass. “You have to relax. We’ll talk a little, and then you’re going to show me that you’re amazing.”

 

“Are you going to make me perform?” Blaine asks.

 

“Yes. And then I’ll reward you well after.” Kurt winks and leads the way to the living room. He knows Blaine knows what that means.

 

 

Blaine does sing for Kurt. Kurt is blown away by the raw emotion in Blaine’s voice, on his face, as he sings the words and melodies he’s written during the years, and hid away thinking they’re not worth anything. Kurt knows people would pay to hear this, to see this, to feel this. Blaine knows how to put feeling out there, for all to feel as deeply as he does. It’s enviable, the sheer talent Kurt’s boyfriend possesses. Kurt tells Blaine as much when he finishes. He tells it in words, in touches, in kisses, and drags Blaine to the bedroom to worship him the way he deserves.

 

*

 

After, they lie tangled together, Kurt’s head on Blaine’s chest. Kurt traces a lazy pattern on Blaine’s skin with his fingertips. He’s content, happy right here, but he knows they both could be happier. He has to start on the topic at some point, and it’s already June. He might as well do it now.

 

“Blaine, have you ever thought moving away from Columbus? Ever thought about taking your music somewhere bigger and better?”

 

“You mean New York, don’t you?” Blaine’s voice is calm, but Kurt can feel his heartbeat quickening under his ear and hand.

 

“Does that upset you?” They’re talking in hushed whispers, as if the subject is somehow too heavy for normal volume. Kurt’s not sure what to expect. They’ve never talked about this before, and he really has no idea how Blaine feels about it. He’s pretty sure Blaine doesn’t want to break up, but the idea of moving halfway across the continent might be too much. They’ve only been together for about seven months. Kurt knows it’s a lot to ask. He wants to ask anyway.

 

“I know you want to go there eventually.” It’s not a proper answer. Blaine’s deflecting.

 

“Yes, but I’m not sure if I want to go alone.” Kurt turns, leans his chin on Blaine’s chest to look at his boyfriend in the eye. “I would love to have you with me.”

 

Blaine smiles. “Are you sure? There’s a big, amazing future out there for you. I’d be dragging you down. You should be able to go and fill all your dreams. Have the life you’ve always wanted.”

 

Kurt really, really wants to say it, but he doesn’t know how. He’s not sure if he can be this vulnerable, even with Blaine. He’s scared of rejection, of being turned down, but he wants it so much. He wants to have that life with Blaine, he’s sure of it. No matter how many people there are in New York, no one can compare to Blaine. Kurt swallows and closes his eyes.

 

“Blaine. You would not be dragging me down. You’d be the one holding me afloat.”

 

Blaine cards a gentle hand through Kurt’s hair. Kurt leans into the touch. He wants to say the words, but they burn on his tongue, and what if Blaine wants to stay? What if Blaine really doesn’t want to leave? Kurt can’t take that kind of pain, at least not right now. He needs time to prepare himself for it.

 

“Let me think about it?” Blaine asks, still quietly.

 

Kurt tries not to be disappointed. He nods and turns back to press his cheek against Blaine. He wants to be as close as he can get, because having this now doesn’t mean he’ll have it forever.

 

*

 

“So, are you actually asking?” Blaine asks, completely out of the blue, on the first of July. The day had been hot and they’ve spent a lazy Sunday trying to stay relatively cool. Blaine has better air conditioning that Kurt, so they’re laying on Blaine’s couch in shorts and no shirts on. Kurt has no idea what Blaine is talking about, the question is random and Kurt is sure he didn’t ask him anything after deciding what kind of pizza they wanted.

 

“Am I asking you what?”

 

“Do you really want me in New York?”

 

Oh. They’re talking about this. Okay. Kurt takes a deep breath and sits up from the slump he’d fallen into. They haven’t touched the subject since that day in the park, and Kurt doesn’t know what to expect. It’s been weeks and Blaine’s been silent on New York. They’ve been to work, they’ve seen a movie or two and gone on walks. They’ve talked about superficial stuff, everyday stuff, and almost forgotten about this. But now Blaine’s lifted the topic up again, and Kurt is supposed to say something.

 

“Of course I want you with me.”

 

“Are you sure?” Blaine gives Kurt a long look. “New York is different from Columbus. I don’t have anyone there – I’d be pretty dependent on you, at least in the beginning. I don’t want to be a downer, but will you be fine with that? I know how clingy I can be, and you need your freedom once you get to the city.”

 

Blaine’s been thinking about this a lot, it seems. And he’s putting himself down, too. Kurt doesn’t like it. “Blaine. I know exactly one person there, so it’s not like I’d be running off with some friends and leaving you all alone. We’d figure things out together.” Kurt almost wants to tell Blaine that he doesn’t exactly have friends in Columbus either, but he leaves it. Kurt knows Blaine is lonely, and he won’t open that wound now. He has more important things to get to – he has to convince Blaine it’s a good idea to go to New York together, build a life there together.

 

“Are you sure? The new life wouldn’t lure you away?”

 

“You keep asking if I’m sure! Of course I am. I know this is a big change, but I think it’s worth it. We both have an education and some experience, so we’ll find work to have some financial security before falling into the chase of the ultimate dream. You can try with your music, I can try with my acting. If they don’t work out, at least we’ll be together.”

 

Blaine nods. He looks away, as if he’s trying to figure something out. “I’d have to sell the house. We’d get some money from that. I think I should also sell my car, because no one actually drives in New York, right?”

 

Kurt’s heart is beating wildly. He throws himself over, landing on Blaine, who looks at him with wide eyes.

 

“You’re actually considering it?” Kurt cradles Blaine’s face between his hands.

 

Blaine smiles. “You belong there, Kurt, and I really want to be with you. Columbus hasn’t ever felt right. I have settled here, mostly because I went to school here. But… I think I could make a home somewhere else. There’s a lot to do, though. We have to sell stuff and buy stuff and physically move. We need a place to live… It scares the crap out of me, Kurt. But yes, I am seriously considering that we should move to New York together.”

 

Kurt kisses Blaine, hard and deep, digs his thumbs into Blaine’s cheeks and loses himself in it. Blaine gives back as much as he gets, holding on to Kurt’s waist and pulling them tight into each other. Kurt sinks into Blaine, feels every inch of him, and the heat doesn’t bother either of them anymore.

 

This is what happiness feels like. This is what hope feels like. This is what being in love feels like.

 

*

 

Blaine is coming over to Kurt’s tonight. He told Kurt to wear something nice, because they’re going out, and everything else is a surprise. Kurt dug into his closet and chose a gray suit with a blue tie. He fixed his hair up high. Luckily it’s not too hot today, or he’d sweat right through the shirt and the jacket of the suit. He might do that anyway, because for some reason this date makes him nervous. Blaine hasn’t surprised him like this before, in the past they’ve pretty much agreed on everything beforehand. Kurt walks around his living room, from one pile of boxes to another.

 

He’s been packing. Some things are for goodwill, others for sale. Some are for New York.

 

They are actually going. Blaine has sold a lot of his things in the last month, and his house seems awfully empty without the shelves and the lamps and the rugs. In a week, they are leaving Columbus for good, they are starting a new life together, and Kurt can’t wait. They’ve both left McKinley, and Blaine has listed his house for sale. Actually, there has already been some interest, and Kurt feels hopeful. They will get the house sold in no time at all.

 

There’s no going back, and the inevitability of it all makes Kurt giddy. He is going to New York. He won’t have to be in Ohio anymore. His dad is happy for him, as is Carole. They insisted they’ll be alright, and told Kurt to come back every Christmas, or else. Kurt agreed happily. Everything is going so well, it almost seems like a vivid dream. Kurt has to pinch himself, just to make sure. He has it all: the boyfriend, the future, the love he always longed for. Now, if he only could articulate that, say it out loud, and everything would be perfect.

 

There’s a knock on the door, and Kurt hurries to open it. He’s greeted by a huge bouquet of red roses. Blaine peeks out from behind them with a big smile on his face, his eyes crinkling with happiness.

 

“Oh, Blaine! They’re beautiful!” Kurt has the best boyfriend ever.

 

“Only the best for you,” Blaine says as Kurt takes the flowers from him and sniffs them.

 

“Come in, I’ll find a vase, then we can go,” Kurt says, turns around and heads to the kitchen to put the flowers away. He sets them gently on the table and looks for the box with the vases and glassware in it. He spots it, opens it and takes the first vase large enough to hold all the roses. Blaine hasn’t followed him. Kurt arranges the roses in the vase and them places it in the middle of the table. The roses are large and deep red. Red roses for love. Tonight Kurt will say it. He will finally be brave enough, because Blaine is leaving his whole life behind just to follow Kurt when Kurt goes after his dream. It’s more than anyone could ask for, and Kurt knows he’s lucky.

 

He turns around and goes to the hallway, already opening his mouth, he can’t contain his love anymore. All words die on his tongue, though, when he spots Blaine on one knee inside the door, a tiny box in his slightly shaking hands. Kurt can’t breathe. It can’t be. His heart is beating wildly, he can hear it in his ears and feel it in his chest. He stares at Blaine, dumb-founded, speechless. He’s hot, he’s cold, he can’t believe what he’s seeing with his own two eyes.

 

“Kurt – I know I haven’t said it, but I love you. You’re the love of my life. Ever since I first saw you on that parking lot, I’ve thought that you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. Getting to know you has been the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me.” There are tears in Blaine eyes, and he opens the box in his hands to reveal a thin, golden band inside. “I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I can’t imagine my life without you in it. You make me a better person, you support me and hold me and help me through everything. I want to be the same for you. I want you to always go after your dreams, I want you to feel loved and happy, and I really, really hope, more than anything, that you’d allow me to be there every step of the way. Will you marry me?”

 

Kurt can’t see through his tears. “Oh, Blaine. Of course I will, you’re everything... oh, please, get here already!” Kurt hurries the few steps it takes to get to Blaine, to the love of his life, to his fiancé, now – he pulls Blaine up and close. He hugs him tight, holds on for dear life. He never wants to let go. Blaine is his, he’s Blaine’s, they’re together, they will get married. Married. Kurt is laughing and crying into Blaine’s ear, and Blaine is holding him tight, too.

 

“Let me put it on?” Blaine whispers into Kurt’s ear, and Kurt shivers.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He pulls away, only as much as absolutely necessary, and Blaine takes his hand to slip the ring on. It’s slightly too big, they’ll have to get it fixed, but right now, it’s perfect. Kurt kisses Blaine, sucks on his lower lip, pushes his nose into Blaine’s. They kiss for what seems like hours, right there, in a half-empty apartment full of boxes. Kurt separates, but doesn’t go far. He keeps his nose pressed into Blaine’s cheek, and whispers against his lips,

 

“I love you.”

 

Finally, those words come easy, without thinking. Finally, everything is as it should be.  

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear what you think!


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